Moxie

Recently, I feel like I have been slightly overwhelmed with parenthood. These feelings are probably magnified because of sickness and no husband for a while, so I should give myself a break. But, it is one of the hardest things that I have yet to do in this life.

When I say hard, I don't mean that it isn't completely worthwhile, but if you want to be a good parent, it's a full time, round the clock, selfless job. I would be lying if I said that I don't miss putting on my clean cut suit, taking a shower in the morning at my own speed, looking somewhat put together, going into the office and being "on."

With the multitasking of being a mom, I haven't felt myself "on" for a while. By "on," I mean, having my brain focused and firing at its full potential. I know this kind of sounds sadistic, but I loved studying for the bar (the law exam every lawyer has to take.) I love the feeling of studying and studying until one day, it all makes sense. It has clicked. The lightbulb is on and you are ready to tackle any problem in front of you.

That said, I have to 100% agree with the cliches that - I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything, their childhood goes too fast, and I don't want to miss it.

So after thinking for a while, I've decided the solution is some Moxie. I haven't thought about this word for a while, but it is exactly what I need. Some Chuutzpah, spirit, fortitude, determination. And, to direct this new found Moxie into some new projects. I'm still mulling on which projects are deserving of this new found energy, but it's coming soon. They are brewing...